Saturday, October 26th, 2013
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| 31 weeks, last bump picture. |
All day I would hear the BP machine tell me my blood pressure
was too high. I was running out of places on my arms for the nurses to poke and
prod me. All day, we prayed that God’s will be done. We tried to watch
TV and movies to pass the time but we were tired from not getting any sleep. The
magnesium made it so it was hard to look at anything bright and I felt so out
of it. I kept trying to text friends and family checking up on me. My amazing hubby would
help me eat, brush my teeth, and put my hair up. I almost forgot to take a 31
week bump pictures so we took one without realizing it would be my last one.
Today was just filled with waiting, praying, and being
patient for this 24 hour urine collection to tell us just how much protein was
in it.
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| Bake baby longer! |
Sunday, October 27th, 2013
Thankfully, the sound of the BP machine going off is a far
off memory of mine now. But on Sunday morning, I prayed so hard for it to stop.
I hated the constant reminder of how my health and that my baby’s health was in
danger. Hubby even turned the volume all the way down and we still heard it.
With everything going on, my husband was my advocate and interpreter. I am sure
I heard what the doctors would tell me but I would always have him repeat it,
again with the side effects of magnesium.
We ate breakfast that morning but I just had no appetite for
anything. Now, I wish I had eaten more because shortly after I was told to not
eat until just in case I needed to deliver soon but depending on how baby and I
were doing might be able to eat dinner. WHAT?! Nope. Delivering was not an
option. We kept praying. My back also started to hurt quite badly. No position
was comfortable.
Late afternoon rolled around and the doc wanted to do an
ultrasound. I wasn’t getting any better so she wanted to see how little man was
doing and see if he could practice breathing. He looked good and measured well.
She asked me if I have felt Little James moved recently. Thinking about it, when I first
arrived he moved and hiccupped like crazy. Although, now I had only felt him
move here and there. According to the fetal monitors he was stable but she
checked him out. He was very still and only had very slight movements but his
heart rate was good so she didn’t look worried. Then we just waited to see if
he would practice breathing, but nothing. She tried to jiggle my belly, pretty
vigorously, to get him to move and breathe. Nothing. He was a very tired baby.
She left the room. It was weird to us that she didn’t say too much
after that.
A doctor and a nurse came into the room. They never came in
the room at the same time. The doctor told me I would be induced. Little man wasn’t
doing as well as they wanted him to and I wasn’t doing so well either so it was
time. The doctor didn’t want me to get to the point where I would bleed out and
my liver looked like I had been drinking alcohol non-stop. Usually with HELLP syndrome
the only solution is a c-section but to vaginally deliver is better so I had
the opportunity to labor. I felt that if there was one thing that was going to
happen, I would get my all natural, unmedicated birth. The nurse tried to talk
me into an epidural but I respectfully declined.
I was started on Pitocin
and as well as a cervical balloon dilator and my bag of water was broken. To
the doctors surprise, I was already dilated 2cm and having contractions (which I
didn’t feel). My body knew it was go time. But let me tell you, not being able
to walk around and labor in the positions you want is pretty difficult. Baby's heart rate kept going down so I kept having to switch position with all nine
machines and dripping medicine attached.
Monday, October 28th, 2013
After 7 hours of labor and being dilated to about 5cm, the
nurse came in to explain to me that Little James wasn’t taking labor well. Changing
positions was not helping and his heart rate just kept going down. We had 2
options. To take a break and stop the Pitocin for 30 minutes and then try to
labor again but if he still wasn’t doing well it would probably end up in an
emergency c-section where my husband wouldn't being able to come with me and see the
baby and I would be put to sleep. Option number two was to go ahead and do a
c-section now, have hubby with me and let him go up to the NICU with our son and I
get the opportunity to see him. She left us alone to think about our options.
We prayed about it and were scared. We told God. We ended up
in a situation far greater frightening that we ever expected. With God’s
guidance, we decided to do a c-section now. I needed my husband with me and I needed
him to be with our son when I was not able to.
They prepped us to get ready to go into the operating room. A
NICU doctor came to brief us on what would happen to our son and complications he
could have. The one thing I remember about the doctor is that she was a nice
little French lady. Then it was almost time for me to go and shortly after they
would come get my husband. I was still having contractions and still wanted to have him by my side, but I needed to go. I got nervous I felt like I was going to
throw up and told the nurse to wait. My hubby reminded me that it was okay and to
keep praying.
The operating room was sterile and cold. No amount of
blankets could keep me warm, my teeth chattered the whole time I was in there. The
nurse had me move from my hospital bed to the small operating table. It was the
first time I been able to do something on my own since Friday. This time I had
to have an epidural. I was dreading it because I wanted nothing to do with one
from the very beginning but of course this time it was for good reason. The
anesthesiologist was very kind. I had not responded on the right side and felt
pain so he adjusted it and then I was completely numb from the neck down. Such a
weird feeling. In the case that I had a c-section, my OB back in Enid found a
cyst on my left ovary on our 20 week ultrasound so I was going to have that
removed as well.
As they finished prepping me, hubby came in. FINALLY! He sat
next to me and they began. We prayed. I don’t remember telling him this, but
guess I told him I was tired and wanted to close and eyes. He kept talking to
me though and didn’t let me. Our son would enter the world soon. All I wanted
was to hear him cry to know he was alive and well. The doctor told me I would
feel a bunch of pressure. I felt lots. I said “OW” even when it really didn’t
hurt. All of a sudden we heard his cry! Hallelujah! They rushed him to the
warmer. My eyes were blurry but I tried to see what they were doing to him.
They wrapped him up and before taking him up to the NICU they asked brand new dad, my hubby if he
wanted to hold him. He took him and showed me our baby. I saw him and said, “My
sweet boy!” He was amazing! hubby's voice was shaky and he started crying. Never
have I seen him cry like that. Our little boy only a few minutes old and had
captured our hearts. October 28th, 2013 at 2:20am he was here.
3.4lbs and 16.7 inches, he couldn’t be more perfect.
It was time for our son to
leave. They asked if my husband wanted to stay with me or go up with little man. I told him
to go up of course. Someone needed to be there with our little guy. I still
needed to be closed up and have my cyst removed. This felt like an eternity.
The cyst ended up being a dermoid cyst. It had hair on it, yes hair. The doctor
suspecting it was left over from the baby’s yolk sac and it was about 6cm. He
also tried to keep as much of my ovary as he could. It was funny when he saw
the cyst, he was shocked at all the hair he saw, the nurse who stayed with me
since hubby left laughed because it was so hairy. We now joke that, it was Little James' twin and he wanted to come out all by himself.
Finally I was all sewn up and ready to go back to my room. My husband was there waiting for me. I was excited to see him and get an update on
our sweet baby. He took pictures and golly did our boy look exactly like his daddy.
He was now in an isolette to grow.
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| Looking like his Daddy! |
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| Nice and cozy in the isolette. |
I still had to be on magnesium for the next 24hrs which means I was bed ridden and couldn’t see my baby. It was the longest 24 hours of my life. I hated the fact that our baby was in the NICU all by himself without his parents so I constantly asked hubby to be up there with him. I also started pumping to provide breast milk for our son. Since Little James didn’t get to bake for a full 40 weeks, I wanted to at least make sure he was getting my breast milk and then eventually breastfeed. I was determined. Hubby was super dad, helping me pump and taking care of me as well as making frequent trips to see our little miracle. He is the best husband and father ever.
And then remember how I told you that instead of collecting my urine, it accidentally got thrown out instead of saved for my 24 hour urine collect? Well if that didn't happen, little man wouldn't have been born at exactly 32 weeks. See, I later learned that babies 32 weeks and beyond do a lot better in the NICU. Praise the Lord for his timing and helping me bake our little miracle a little longer.
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| Daddy, our hero! |
Tuesday, October 29th, 2013
2:20am on Tuesday morning, they asked me if I was ready to
see my baby! Um, YES! But first I had to get my catheter removed, get cleaned
up a bit, get my IV removed and move to my recovery room. I was supposed to
walk to the bathroom to go pee. Hubby and my nurse helped me because I hadn’t
walked in 5 days. The nurse said to take it easy and not push it. I tried, but I
was on a mission to see my boy. If I could run, I probably would have. I got
cleaned up and we were moved to a recovery room, with a window, yay! As my husband wheeled me out of room B2, I felt overjoyed. We were on the road to recovery.
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| Finally with my little boy. |
I ended up in the hospital for 8 days and Little James for a month. I’ll
save his NICU stay for another time. But, I want to leave you with this. We are so blessed and grateful for the Lord who got us through this experience and put so many awesome friends in our lives who got us through this time! Things certainly didn't go as planned, but God got us through one of the scariest things we have ever gone through. Everything was out of control, but God was in control. God showed us what trusting in Him means. God is so good!
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| Photo Credit Audrey Weaver |
Thanks for reading friends!
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ReplyDeleteI loved reading your (scary!) experience. Thanks for sharing. It's wonderful to really hear your faith in God's will, control, and plan in your writing.